As I was returning from my work today, I noticed two men clad in White Dhoti and their upper body covered with Angavastram were riding on a motorbike, the pillion was holding a small pot and that quite instantly gave me a clear idea of what was happening. They were probably sons or closest relatives of a person who had just passed away and were heading towards the funeral rites. Just immediately, it came to my mind that until yesterday these two men must have been busy with their usual life and work and suddenly in a few hours they were subjected to a jolt. Death shakes everybody, if not for long it makes every person ponder over it at least for a moment. Just imagine what these men must be feeling… a sudden rush of emotions, responsibility, planning all intertwined. They may feel like crying, but they rarely would, because they know that the funeral is to be completed within a certain timeframe.
Besides this there are several other aspects that complete a funeral ceremony. One such Hindu ritual is called ‘Mukhagni’ which means the fire has to be placed in the head of the dead body, so that the cremation can achieve its conclusion; during this ritual a sound of the skull cracking is heard amidst the hymns that are recited by priests, which confirms that the person on the pyre will never again resume life on that body. Now, imagine a son doing this for his father or a father doing this for his son or a brother for another or more! What must they be feeling like? How many churns did they feel in their gut while doing so? Did they throw up while doing so? Will their lives be the same after this ritual? Did they cry their heart-out after all this was over? And now, ask yourself …what do you think men are? Insensitive? Disrespectful? Not-understanding?
I have a brother who has gone through this piercing truth and emotion and it sure has changed something in him, if not everything! He serves the borders of our country in a matter that most of you won’t even know. He may have to gun down militants and miscreants who are threats to the civil society and the world at large, none for a personal cause or mission and yet when it comes to talking about sensitivity and acceptance and greater being, all world’s people have to side-line these very men, just under the name of few criminals who are like wild animals in the society! This is just a small glimpse of what men may go through in their lifetimes!
There is always a bigger side of the story and if not understood well, may lead to misconceptions! Men are human beings like women, sometimes more when it comes to taking charge of things, sometimes vulnerable just like women, sometimes patient like the gods we pray! Men are made of all the elements that women are made of and that makes the idea of respect very simple. Every man who displays respect deserves one!
Today as I write this, I make a sincere wish deep inside that every person who reads this will respect the men in their lives, they will give one chance to understand what a man has gone through, that they will listen instead of just questioning, that they will for some time let things be with those men instead of jumping to conclusions. Whether it’s a Father, Brother, Son, Boy-friend, Husband, Nephew, Friend, Admirer, Leader…a man sure is an equivalent to a woman and this is reason enough why we may not label all men as one!
Respect for Men!
Nirupama
