My Mother's Bindi!

I belong to a family of ever-evolving members. 

A father, who grew up looking at and dealing with tough times, making sense of things through personal experience and respecting the tiniest joys he was able to reap throughout! A mother, who took care of a new family, when she was herself at an age to be taken care of. She would get irritated, confused of situations but surprisingly never stopped doing what she had to. Two siblings, who were bonded over the touchstone of time and the bond continues to grow stronger. A nephew, whose second skin is love and obedience.

All through my life till now, things have changed dramatically, but what refuses to change is the willingness of this family to stay hooked, understand each other and love unconditionally.

And here is a beautiful instance of this superior understanding that I found in my sister, my li'l nephew and myself for our most beloved mother!

After my father left us for his journey to the heavens ten years ago, he didn't just create a void in our hearts, but the social stigma of a widow also fell upon my mother. When he was alive, my mother loved to dress up beautifully. After the weariness of the entire day due to the household chores, she would prim herself up and decorate her forehead with a bright red Bindi, in the evening; I never saw her put a lipstick, so her Bindi and her flaring red Sindoor were the visual delight to my eyes. I always loved women decked up according to their capacity and with Maa being so beautiful, the inclination was so obvious. After Papa left, the whole ritual changed. It ceased. She refused to even see her face in the mirror; she lost weight in enormous amounts. The situation was awful and to get things in control we had to create things like in past, without hurting anyone! I searched for answers in my surroundings, I asked some real close friends whose mothers had the same suffering and the only answer I got was..."It would take time." But it was too tough to take it and then one day I decided, rather dared to ask my mother if she could put a small Bindi on her forehead, as expected she got upset. But we had to make it work, we wanted her to like herself again and after repeat efforts by my sister, nephew and I, we could manage to give my mother a reason to look back into the mirror. She slowly accepted that the Bindi is no taboo and she now adorns herself with it often, though not all the time. 

This for me is a personal achievement. Whenever she goes out I make sure I see her off with a Bindi and she smiles! 

Love.Peace.Happiness 

Niru

Thank you Jaywant Ji

Life is a constant mix of drama and melodrama. We all meet people who pull us down for reasons only known to them and then we also meet people who bring us up for the same reason.

In this course of pulling down and elevating, what I have become is something you all can see; but the point of utter significance here is the people who have helped me elevate. One such person who plays a significant role in my life is Jaywant Ji. His full name is Jaywant Naidu. Professionally he is a musician, a CA, but as a person he is a motivator, a thinker, a doer, a believer, a timekeeper, a friend, a guide.
My first ever rendezvous with Jaywant Ji was at a meeting of a non-profit-organization as a volunteer. There, he had ideas like everyone had, but what was distinct about him was that he knew how important it is to get the work done. And he always had a refined plan in mind that could make things happen.

I have been associated with him for over three years now and each time I only respect him more for the way he brings out the best in people. I can’t think of one single incident alone to thank him. But I sure would take this opportunity to thank him for all the wonderful things he does to make this world a beautiful place. Thank you Jaywant Ji for being ever so kind, jovial, patient, for having the tolerance to ignore things that hurt and move ahead, for practicing more than preaching, for making time for all the people who seek your company…for just being you! Thank you Sir! :)

Thank You Bhairav!

It was a pleasant evening in the early part of the May month of 2013, the place was Howrah Station. I and my sister along with several other students and teachers from Hyderabad were there to attend an International convention on music and culture at the prestigious IIM Kolkata. As we alighted from the train, a group of well guided boys came towards us, confirmed our participation and very promptly helped us with our luggage and route to the bus station where we were to be picked up to reach the destination. We assumed that they were IIM Students, but much later we got to know that they were volunteers from various schools, colleges and even working professionals who chose to work for an organization to help its effective functioning.

One of the volunteers amongst them became my friend for life. He is called Bhairav Shah. A guy who helped people without thinking twice; he ran from pillar to post to get any work done with or without his involvement…all he knew was that the work had to be done and within the time stipulated. I happened to observe him and he was omnipresent during the convention, for once I thought he was possessed. His tireless efforts along with his friends made the program a great success. The extravaganza ended after a week.

Typically a friendship in which we meet each other in person very rarely and stay several thousand kilometers away mellows down and dries up as a “good-to-know-you-are-around” friendship. But what elated my senses was that my friendship with Bhairav was not following the trend.

It was during this summer that my mother was returning to Hyderabad via Howrah after visiting her brother, when she got stranded at the Howrah Junction due to an unconfirmed ticket problem, my cousin accompanied her, but that didn't quiet help. We couldn't help her either, because of the distance. In a situation such as this, all that occurred to me was Bhairav, having known him for just a year…I was too hesitant to ask him to offer help, but with my mother at the needy end…I had to. I called him up and he agreed to help, like he was just there to help me, without any second thoughts, without any sighs, no drama-plain humanity. He worked out things neatly for my mother and she reached home without any worries. Receiving mom at the station and having hugged her and felt her, sent a quick flush of relief throughout me and surprisingly as I reached home Bhairav calls to check if Mom reached.

I have seen friends come and go in my life, but this gesture left a deep impression on my mind. So much kindness, so much selflessness, I am indebted to you Bhairav. I can never thank enough for wht you have done. I still want to thank you! 

Thank You!

Thank you! These are two very powerful words, the value of which we miss out on receiving and giving, more often.
I have heard people who are friends with each other say..."No Thank you, no sorry in friendship"... and I have also seen people reflect bliss on their faces when a genuine "Thank You" is expressed. The world is a mixed bag of people and their theories vary from one another about everything including gratitude. Gratitude, I feel is one of the very crucial things that helps in the well-being of the society. Gratitude encourages people to work more...help more, it motivates individuals to look forward to life, gratitude creates a belief in minds, that things are not as bad as they seem to be!

A week from now "Thanksgiving Day" will be celebrated in the USA. A festival(harvest season) to offer gratitude to the almighty for giving us the food that helps us live healthy. Festivals of similar kind are observed throughout the world, the core concept of which is to offer gratitude to the almighty. Onam, Baisakhi, Akshay Tritiya, Gidi Padwa, Bhogi, Bihu festivals in India, Chuseok in Korea, Tsukimi in Japan, Ikore, Incwala in Africa reflect the same sentiment.

Having shared all this information, I would like to bring you back to the thought that a "Thank you" matters not just to the gods, but to the people and all the beings you co-exist with on this earth.

With this... I want to keep you informed that for the next few weeks I will be sending gratitude to all the people and things that my memory has been able to capture by writing events that make me respect people more,mentioning their names and reflecting my happiness and gratitude towards them. This is a small step towards creating a peaceful world around me. I hope you appreciate this and also emulate this if you like.

Love.Peace.Happiness.Gratitude!

Niru

Papa...The finest man I have ever known!

It hasn't been more than a year ago, that I went to get my scooty serviced at a shop that is located near my old house. The owner of the store(who seemingly loved his shop & job) was in greasy clothes for evident reasons...a 50-something man, it seemed like I knew him(but didn't want to strike any such conversation), as a humble gesture I smiled and told him about what needs to be repaired in the vehicle and asked him, how much would that cost...and to my surprise he said, "When it was your dad's vehicle, I would finish the work first, let him take a test ride and then tell him what it costs...it would be the same with you too little one!" And then like a flash in the memory lane, I could get to see those past moments where I came to the same shop along with Papa to get his vehicle serviced. The man said, "its been so many years that I had last seen you, but that gentle reflection of your father's face in yours reminds me of my most beloved friend, who would have been a little younger than I today... he was the finest man I ever knew". 
That one statement added something new to my perspective of life and living beings. I truly realized that the deeds we do, the thoughts we think and the words we say are the actual things that make us an achiever; such achievement can not be gauged by any numerical system or number crunching! 

It is a decade today, that I have learnt to live without my first ever hero. He set the benchmark for a human being, for a man... too high!

Infinite Love.
Niru

माँ

Mothers have always been the reason why the world even moved ahead. She is the reason for evolution! 

We all know too many things about mothers in general. But today, I would like to tell you something about my mom...

My mom became a mom at an age as young as 17-something. 

Eldest daughter-in-law of a 20-membered joint family, she took care of her 3 children while taking care of everyone else in the family. She loved everyone as much as she could, adjusted herself to all the oddities in her new family. Complained less. Learnt as much as she could. 

Then life turned her into a woman of steel, she lost her most beloved, her best friend, her husband in her 30s(an age when most women these days, start a new life). 

Few lessons that I learnt from her life(which she never preached), I would like to share them with you:

*Women are steel, not plain Iron so they don't rust.

*When you're worried and in pain, put yourself to work; the work that you like...it heals.

*Keeping your personal self aside, when the children are in pain.(The whole world needs this lesson).

*Making sure that all of us clean our living spaces, because that is what makes us a part of a "civilization".

*Admiring one's own children in front of others, especially when they are around.

*Expecting love in all sincerity!

The list of learnings is endless. 

A message for today...as generations grow, we learn new things, only because we were able to learn things that were taught to us by our parents, never put-them-down on a note of having more 'intelligence', knowing better 'English' or earning more 'money'... Respect parents... respect every mother(that includes avoiding abuses that involve the word 'mother')...Respect leads to love. Love brings peace. Peace begets happiness.

Love.Peace.

Niru

Simply Tabla!

Tabla

/ˈtablə,ˈtʌblə/

noun

noun: tabla; plural noun: tablas

a pair of small hand drums used in Indian music, one of which is slightly larger than the other and is played using pressure from the heel of the hand to vary the pitch.

Just like a lonely soul attains contentedness once it finds its perfect partner, a singing voice finds complete gratification when it finds its true accompanist. Talking of one such person, I remember a very suave tabla player I have personally known called Saawan Kakeri. He can't be searched on Google or Facebook; such is his level of ignorance (read bliss). I had come across this man of art during a voluntary work with a non-profit organization that tries to promote Indian classical music amongst the youth. Saawan ji aged 30-something is very simple person in his ways. Happy with what he does, he seemed happier when children responded to his "Tin Taal". There’s a certain magic that those beats create!!!

I haven’t learnt music all that well to be able to decode the mysteries in the sound of tabla, but I sure found out that a tabla when well-accompanied with the singing voice in a certain performance only makes the listening experience complete(exceptions may sure be considered). Before going on this tour of music in the villages of Andhra Pradesh, I always thought that a tabla player, a Tanpura player and a Harmonium player along with the lead vocalist are a fixed team and they all perform together at all times, I guess then I was ignorant of the logic that music is the universal language and any vocalist can co-ordinate with any Tabla player and other accompanying artists with practice put well in place.

A Tabla player is addressed to as an accompanist during any vocal performances. But when they go solo on the stage, they are the lead performers. Another philosophy of life thus stands justified here, every living person in this world has his own role to play, none is less and none is more… just like the performers on a dais.

Happy Birthday Alla Rakha Ji! 

Learn a music instrument. Add to world peace!

Love.Peace!

Nirupama

Deserve?

A language of feelings

There's a word "deserve"...heard of it?

Ah! Yes, the same thing that we use several times a day for ourselves and quite often for others too!

So, what is it all about?

*Does "deserve" mean validating our capacities against fortune?
*Does "deserve" reflect our personalities or does it have to?
*Who is a well-deserving and who is non-deserving? And most importantly who decides that?

-Does an 81-year old professor, an Economist, a leader of the world's largest democracy, who has chosen to stay quite most of the times not because he didn't have something to say, but simply for reasons he knows best, DESERVE such foul social disrespect?

-Does Yo-Yo Honey Singh, who more often than not, sings songs which downgrade women DESERVE so much fanfare?

-Does a 45 year-old intellectual, who gave up a plum career for his desire to bring about a massive social change DESERVE so much of judgmental wrath from people who don't even know how to run their own households?

Think more…

-Did Shiva deserve such a painful parting with his most beloved Sati?
-Did Nirbhaya or any girl like her deserve that which they got? 

-Does a 32 year old Major Varadharajan deserve death whilst fighting militants and does his wife and little child deserve his loss?

Life is absolute hapless in its behaviour, what you see is not what it always is. I therefore have a humble request to make... please don't decide the "Deserve" for anyone.

If you really think you want to do something just be humble and kind to people around. And the next time when you have this urge of telling or asking someone what they deserve, just look back into your own lives...do a little self-check if you really 'deserve' all the good you have and also ask your heart, do you 'deserve' all the pain you go through, from time to time?
The world is in pain and it sure does not deserve so much of it! I am sure you will agree with this!

Love.Peace!
Nirupama