Did you notice Men?

As I was returning from my work today, I noticed two men clad in White Dhoti and their upper body covered with Angavastram were riding on a motorbike, the pillion was holding a small pot and that quite instantly gave me a clear idea of what was happening. They were probably sons or closest relatives of a person who had just passed away and were heading towards the funeral rites. Just immediately, it came to my mind that until yesterday these two men must have been busy with their usual life and work and suddenly in a few hours they were subjected to a jolt. Death shakes everybody, if not for long it makes every person ponder over it at least for a moment. Just imagine what these men must be feeling… a sudden rush of emotions, responsibility, planning all intertwined. They may feel like crying, but they rarely would, because they know that the funeral is to be completed within a certain timeframe.

Besides this there are several other aspects that complete a funeral ceremony. One such Hindu ritual is called ‘Mukhagni’ which means the fire has to be placed in the head of the dead body, so that the cremation can achieve its conclusion; during this ritual a sound of the skull cracking is heard amidst the hymns that are recited by priests, which confirms that the person on the pyre will never again resume life on that body. Now, imagine a son doing this for his father or a father doing this for his son or a brother for another or more! What must they be feeling like? How many churns did they feel in their gut while doing so? Did they throw up while doing so? Will their lives be the same after this ritual? Did they cry their heart-out after all this was over? And now, ask yourself …what do you think men are? Insensitive? Disrespectful? Not-understanding?

I have a brother who has gone through this piercing truth and emotion and it sure has changed something in him, if not everything! He serves the borders of our country in a matter that most of you won’t even know. He may have to gun down militants and miscreants who are threats to the civil society and the world at large, none for a personal cause or mission and yet when it comes to talking about sensitivity and acceptance and greater being, all world’s people have to side-line these very men, just under the name of few criminals who are like wild animals in the society! This is just a small glimpse of what men may go through in their lifetimes!

There is always a bigger side of the story and if not understood well, may lead to misconceptions! Men are human beings like women, sometimes more when it comes to taking charge of things, sometimes vulnerable just like women, sometimes patient like the gods we pray! Men are made of all the elements that women are made of and that makes the idea of respect very simple. Every man who displays respect deserves one!

Today as I write this, I make a sincere wish deep inside that every person who reads this will respect the men in their lives, they will give one chance to understand what a man has gone through, that they will listen instead of just questioning, that they will for some time let things be with those men instead of jumping to conclusions. Whether it’s a Father, Brother, Son, Boy-friend, Husband, Nephew, Friend, Admirer, Leader…a man sure is an equivalent to a woman and this is reason enough why we may not label all men as one!

Respect for Men!
Nirupama

और सखी पिया सो कर खोया,मैं अपना पिया जाग गवांयो....!

पलकां पर सोवत कामिनी रे,ज्ञान ध्यान सब पी संग लाग्यो..
पल मे लग गई पलकन मोरी,मीचत ही पल मे पिया आयो..!

मै जो उठी पिया आदर देने, जाग पड़ी पिया हाथ ना आयो..
और सखी पिया सो कर खोया,मैं अपना पिया जाग गवांयो....!

Meera Bai an eternal singer, an ardent lover of Krishna reveals the layers of her infinite love in the lines that are printed above in Devanagiri script!

This is a song that I have been listening to, as a morning raga since the last 15years of my life. The words spin a delicate thread. Meerabai describes how smitten she is in her wake moments for Krishna. And when she transports herself in the slightest trance she finds Krishna walk into her trance state too…unaware of her actual state, she ascends to greet the love of her life and then realizes unexpectedly that she has woken up and it was all a dream arrangement!

This song clicks a quick connection with love of every form…how much I love knowing MeeraBai…how beautiful she makes the whole idea of love!

The colour of passion is 'Burnt Sienna'

In faded memories of my teenage, I remember standing with him in the balcony of my house on summer evenings for long hours, chatting about almost everything under the sun. He was quite a few years younger to me considering the class he studied in. He then had a lot of questions to ask and I had almost equal number of suggestions to make...with my grandma like counselling skills since a very early age, I am sure I must have given him lot of enlightening knowledge, that's what he says even now.

Since his childhood he was an avid sketch artist and I was amazed at the finesse of his work each time I caught a glimpse of his artwork. As time passed, we grew busier with our lives, work timings and also moved to different places, but what remained were fond memories.

Several years later, when we got back in touch, I had left my corporate career and started pursuing things that kept me happy, whilst he was still looking out for some answers about ‘passion of his life’, I suppose . So, one day we decided to pick up the remains of our old story-telling days and experience sharing times to figure out the colour of his passion. With not much effort we figured out that he was passionate about painting!!!

A little later, he brainstormed his ideas with me and some of his closest pals and one fine morning he gives me a call to tell me that he will be starting painting classes for all ages, something that he believed gave him peace....I had rarely been as thrilled as that day, because somewhere a part of me was also involved in this entire process of passion finding and peace establishing.

Today, he is a full-fledged painter with some finest artistry in his heart (more than what he has in his hand and mind). He has dreamt of this for years and worked slowly towards it and that is why I want to name the colour of his passion as ‘Burnt Sienna’. Sienna is an earth pigment, it denotes the shades of earth and grounded nature and when it is heated, it becomes reddish brown and is called 'Burnt Sienna'. Something similar happens while we pursue our passion… we take the heat from all around and we stay grounded!

P.S: This boy is my little brother(now big and married), who I am so happy to be a sister to!

Colours.Passion.Peace

Nirupama

An acknowledgement is a way to peace

The first time that I formally got introduced to the word ‘acknowledgement’ was after having sent my application for the EAMCET exam, back in the year 2001; during that time I did not know what the intensity of the word meant, to me it was similar to a receipt that you get after making a monetary transaction. But over the years, ‘acknowledgement’, to my understanding became as important as any feeling that needs to be expressed in time.

In our daily lives there are plenty of things which need a pressing acknowledgement and this practice for me starts as each day begins. Today, I would like to share a list of my daily acknowledgements that I make to different things, different people and myself every day. I write this only to throw some light on the importance of our ‘response system’ and I am hoping that you like it. In case you do, then you can also take a cue from here and treat it like your cheat-sheet for something new to add to your personal schedule!

• Each morning as I wake up, I join my hands in acknowledgement to the incomparable Sun god for being where he is and reinstating the faith in the maxim that ‘somethings never change’ and life can be brightened each day.

• I acknowledge the ‘Good Mornings’ that I receive from my family and also from each parent and student who comes to school, individually. I quite well remember how terrible I’d feel as a child when I greeted ‘Good Morning’ to a random teacher at school and they would simply walk by without responding (there could be many reasons for such behaviour, but for me the feeling was bad). And therefore, I never want to be a similar case.

• For the morning tea, breakfast, lunch and dinner at home or outside, I make sure I acknowledge the effort put in making them to all those who cook and serve.

• At work I acknowledge my employee for the work she does by appreciating her time to time, though we don’t have a lot of common topics to talk.

• The e-mails and the messages that I receive both on social networking sites and phone are acknowledged by me in time, unless I am totally not in a position to access them.
(I see that life has become a little more complicated with technology and transparency coming together… so when I say this I mean situations… in which you get to know that an sms has been ‘delivered’ or an FB/Watsapp message has been ‘seen’ or ‘read’…it feels a lot of anxiety when there is no acknowledgement for it.)

• Sometimes a few strangers smile at you, for unknown reasons… a smile back to them is also an acknowledgement for the kindness they exhibit. (I sure know that a few of you may think that smiling at strangers can lead to unpleasant situations, to that I’d say…a lot of other planned gestures also may lead to similar stuff…why not take a chance with kindness then?) I smile at total strangers!

• Responding to an ‘I love you’… This is very crucial. A lot of times we think an ‘I love you’ is a fishy gesture… but with your personal experiences try to respond aptly to those who make an effort to say this to you and make you feel wonderful! I just love receiving and giving ‘I love yous’.

• Returning a missed call, replying to forward sms on a festival by a friend, thanking people for buying things from you(in case you’re a seller), thanking people for being around, saying a sorry in time are all candid examples of a civilized acknowledgement. I simply follow each of them and I feel a lot wonderful for having a strong response system inside of me.

I do not recall of a time or date in specific when I started responding to everything that needed to be acknowledged, but I can surely see how much of a difference it makes to anyone who has conveyed something, to receive a response.

To a lot of people it comes easier to scold, shunt or give a negative feedback about something. We however need to understand that a response, appreciation, suggestion, humble denial, agreement, gratitude and apology are far more superior forms of any acknowledgement that human civilization has ever seen!

So, happy acknowledging folks and yes I so love you!!!

Peace.Happiness

Nirupama

Sometimes, a hug is all you need!!!

It was the March of 2013, I was still getting over a grave pain of having lost Vinu(my college friend who was a biker), though not too close a friend, Vinu somehow managed to seize the hearts of people who knew him. The pain was more of losing a young ambitious, well-wishing guy, the only son left to his parents. It was then that I could relate to how some people felt having lost their favourite leaders, celebrities despite never having met them in person. The world sure has unlimited emotions trapped inside of it!

It was during this time, that a very dear friend understood this feeling of mine without me putting it into words. And the only treatment was a warm hug, for reassurance that life has moved on ever-since. This was the first and the last time I ever received this hug from that friend. But the lesson learnt was very deep. A genuine hug has magical powers!

Today, its been over a year since I have been adopting the "magic-hug" session with the students in my school. So here's what I do...after they finish the school assembly I hug each of them individually and wish them "Good Morning" followed by their name, and in return they hug me back more warmly and say "Good Morning Teacher"...The energy that passes on, the reassurance that we are there for each other is commendable(no words involved). With 28 children, it takes time, but I sure don't get exhausted! Because, I have learnt... that in life ...Sometimes, a hug is all you need!!!

Love and Hugs

Nirupama

To change or not to change?

As people wade through various joyous and distasteful incidents in their life, the one cross road that most people come across in their minds is “to change or not to change?” The change here could refer to a person’s individual self, his lifestyle, his company (people who he gets along with), the place where he stays and the list may go on!

So who exactly decides whether all or some of these things have to be changed: You, your friend, a stranger turned friend or any other person?

It was a few days ago that I happened to talk to one such person. A new found friend he was, who managed to probe questions that I would generally not answer someone if I knew what the conversation was leading to. The conversation clearly appeared to be a forced session of ‘I want to help you’ despite my insisting that I am happy the way things are with me. It was amusing at the way how people in the name of feeling a ‘connection’ with you want to change you, whether or not you like it.

This incident brought to me a new perspective of life & living and that is… when people see you on a certain day, or even if they have been seeing you for a long time, they would not know the end-to-end of every single story that goes on in your life, somewhere there will be a point where they may get disconnected with you, but you are the only one who has experienced every feeling, every story, every emotion bit by bit and this makes you the sole decider of what to do with yourself. Your choices as against your circumstances may look wrong to some people, people may sometimes even bruise you with their words on your decision making; however it’s you who has to take a call to allow people’s advice affect you in any manner.

I am a firm believer of destiny and I think that destiny is pre-destined.

I feel Karma has a role to play too (what goes around comes around).

And I also know that the two statements that I made above are contradictions to each other; so that may make me look like a confused person, but I have my own reasons to believe in my own thoughts, fairly because its only I who knows the story of my life, just the way it is going!

So the next time when you don’t want to change for an advice from a person, how much ever you respect them…do what makes you feel right and light and yes let them know about it too!

How I fell in love with Shiva!!!

My understanding and knowledge of god as a Hindu has always been based upon what I acquired from my elders at home, neighbours, teachers, festivals, religious books, stories related to them and few other sources that I am unable to recall right now. As a result of this understanding, Krishna became my favourite god over all of my growing years and the god that I feared was Shiva!

So, why did I fear him? is the question...to which there is more than one answer. Sometimes, it was the way staunch prayers and rule-bound rituals were offered for a 'Shiva Trayodashi' (also called Pradosh), some other times there was the super-strict "Solah-Somvaari"(16-Mondays) fast with a list of unchangeable and rigid rules for both prayer and fasting. Then there is the "Maha Mrityunjay Mantr" which is said to save lives right out of death-trap, but again with a condition, there can be no scope of the hymn being misspelt! With these and a few more, my fear of Shiva grew...I always saw him like a strict father with a cane, ready to bash up for the smallest mistakes. But all of this had to stop somewhere and it faded one fine morning, when I decided to read a book much more holier than any holy books I have read so far... The holy book is called "Immortals of Meluha". Until then I was still not too happy with Shiva, but as I read the first few pages, I exactly knew why we fall in love with gods, when we do!

Shiva, then got into my realisation as one subtle man with his own thoughts and rules of his tribe, with his respect for everyone who cared to be, with seamless love for Sati, with the insecurities of a little child, with compassion for Ganesh, with undeterred brotherhood for Brihaspati, a passionate dancer, a joy maker, a ready-to-go traveller, simple yet super smart at analytics, a singer... Shiva is so much me. How then could I stay away from him? How else do we fall in love?

Falling in love with Shiva therefore made me love god! It helped me reinstate my faith in the Inner Shiva! Therefore Shivoham.

I suppose...this is how "Har-Har-Mahadev" takes its grip in every era!

Thankyou Amish Tripathi for this abundance!

Satyam.Shivam.Sundaram!!!

Nirupama