My Choice!

My Body...My Mind...My Choice

To wear the clothes I like even as my spirit roams naked.

My Choice…

To be a size Zero or a size 15

They don't have a size for my spirit and never will.

To use cotton and silk to trap my soul is to believe you can halt the expansion of the universe

Or capture sunlight in the palm of your hand

Your Mind is caged, let it free

My body is not, let it be

My choice…

To marry or not to marry

To have sex before marriage, to have sex outside of marriage

To not have sex

My choice…

To love temporarily or to lust forever

My Choice…

To love a man or a woman or both

Remember ‘You’ are my choice

I am not your privilege

The Bindi on my forehead, the ring on my finger

Adding your surname to mine...they are just ornaments.

They can be replaced.

My love for you can not

So treasure that!

My choice…

to come home when I want.

Don't be upset when I come home at 4 am.

Don't be fooled if I come home at 6 pm

My Choice…

To have your baby or not.

To pick you from 7 billion choices or not

So don't get cocky

My pleasure might be your pain.

My songs your noise

My order your anarchy

Your sins, my virtues

My choices are like my finger prints they make me unique.

I am the tree of the forest; I am the snowflake of the snowfall

You are the snowflake!

Wake up! Get out of the shit storm

I choose to empathize. Or to be indifferent

I choose to be different.

I am the universe...infinite in every direction!

This is my choice!

Cast: 98 women including film critic Anupama Chopra, fashion stylist Anaita Shroff Adajania, Bollywood Actress Nimrat kaur , hairstylist Adhuna Akhtar, Actor Deepika Padukone, Singer Sagarika Mukherjee.

Poet:  Kersi Khambatta(a man)

Director: Homi Adajania (a man)

This video has nothing to do with killing a man's pride.
All that has been verbalized in this video has been acted upon since times unknown, but one woman's graceful voice, her elegant demeanor, her composed expressions and her welled up eyes in the last shot...create a stir amongst people who have less or no idea what it is to be touched and what it means to go through depression due to hollowness created by another. This is not completely from woman to a man. This is from a woman to the society, which includes men and women, who can never figure out what it takes to be alive, even when there are several things in this world that you can not connect to!

Love and Respect to all the team members of Vogue!

Nirupama

Who, what and why of '’राम" : A common man’s word.

राम: One of the most powerful two-letter word, that human evolution would have ever seen.

राम is not the name of a god alone; राम is a thought, a concept, energy, a philosophy and a million things rolled into one. राम is strength and this is what makes राम a noun, a verb, an adjective and a superlative all at the same time. राम as mentioned in Hindu mythology and various scriptures that bear religious significance stands tall as a “Maryada Purushottam”… a man who personifies “the ideal man”. There are however several questions about how ideal he is now vis-à-vis the time in which he lived, there are some pointing fingers too about how he treated Maa Seeta and thus putting a question mark on his perfectionism. Just then the theory of Yin and Yang strikes my mind which describes how apparently opposite or contrary forces are actually complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another. Many tangible dualities (such as light and dark, fire and water, male and female) are thought of as physical manifestations of the duality of yin and yang.) Thus every perfect being (God) has a yin and yang to his inner self and thus राम continues to help us rationalize his title of being a “Maryada Purushottam”.

As I try to know further more about the philosophy and strength of राम, I chance upon the story of the architecture of राम सेतु, an ancient engineering marvel. The bridge that starts from Dhanushkodi tip of India’s Pamban Island and ends at Sri Lanka’s Mannar Island. In some of the ancient writings, the construction of राम सेतु was attributed to the name of राम. It is said that, when the construction of the bridge got difficult due to the rocks (that were put in the sea) being submerged, one of the Vanaras who almost drowned in the water uttered the name of राम as he held the rock sturdy and it began to float just as swiftly; taking a cue from this all the other stones and rocks were put in the sea with the inscription of राम on it.
Science however has learnt to defy faith since a long-long time and for this incident, it researched enough to show that the rocks did not float because of राम, but the reason was the floating nature of the light-weight stones. And voila! Science you proved it right, but then can you now please tell me who made those floating stones and take me to the beginning of the cycle of the making of this thing?

Isn't life similar for humans as well? No matter how much science one applies in to his actions, it is the faith that plays a critical role in bringing about the desired results, because it is true…”Where logic ends faith begins”.

As for me …I have always felt deep within…” राम से बड़ा राम का नाम”

जय श्री राम!!!

सबसे ऊंची प्रेम सगाई

सबसे ऊंची प्रेम सगाई

दुर्योधन के मेवा त्याग्यो, साग विदुर घर खाई

जूठे फल शबरी के खाये, बहु विधि स्वाद बताई

प्रेम के बस पारथ रथ हांक्यो, भूल गये ठकुराई

ऐसी प्रीत बढ़ी वृन्दावन, गोपियन नाच नचाई

प्रेम के बस नृप सेवा कीन्हीं, आप बने हरि नाई

सूर क्रूर एहि लायक नाहीं, केहि लगो करहुं बड़ाई

I do not know at what age I fell in love with Krishna and every song for Krishna that I listened to, made me fonder. Though Surdas was a 15th century poet, what he wrote and what he felt about love is contemporary to human minds that are six hundred years ahead! Love is hence timeless!

The discreet description about love by bhakt Surdas says…

Love is the supreme most engagement of all times. Engagement here refers to a commitment, a passion that keeps you involved.

It is not just with Surdas or Krishna that love happens so subtly. Love is a charmer, it comes in all shapes, sizes and forms, and it is one thing that leaves no being untouched.

This bhajan describes subtly what love can do and what love has been doing in different eras of human existence. People of different times, of different social statures but without love, have never been convincing enough to a mind that is fond of love. So what if it is Shabari, the old lady living in a village during the times of Lord Ram or Vidur, a simple humble man, during Mahabharat; it is they who were able to make their existence valid with the presence of their most beloved divinities within their lifetimes.

The mystery of life and death can never ever be deciphered, but one thing that keeps the charm and engagement of life going is love and only love!

Love shall prevail beyond every hardship. May love always remain this intriguing and undefined!

Love

Nirupama

Ramnath

Ramnath is one of the names of lord Rudr. 'Nath' in hindi means 'Lord' and that makes the meaning Rudr: the lord of Shri Ram! If you have read the Shiva Trilogy, you could somewhere connect with this. However, the point is not to take you on a Hindu Mythology trip or get you to read Amish but it is more to do with the name and its meaning and how it impacts or reflects on an individual's personality!

The world is stuffed with people of different names and each time you ask someone about why they were named so, you are sure to get some interesting anecdotes about the life cycle of their naming ceremony, there sure must also be a few, who have no reason for their names at all and that's what we call exception. Meanings of names are also similar things, if there is a meaning to a name, they create a deep reflection on their personalities. Like the hymns when recited constantly for several times create an aura in the place where they have been sung, the names also on being called every time you want to beckon the person create a vibe associated with the meaning of the name!

Too heavy to take? Here's an example:

'Nirupama' means 'incomparable' and each time I say this name or hear it from someone...the impetus of my comparison with others becomes lesser!

'Tushar' is another such name that means 'frost'...and the meaning makes people with this name 'cool' in their head and their attitude! Though this is not a proven philosophy, like most others and I do not have statistics about how correct I am at this inference, but I can sure say that people with names bearing wonderful meanings have been owners of commendable personalities and actions... some of which you can see, and some others you can't but it is somewhere deep-seated in their personalities!

As for Ramnath...that's my middle name and the first name of the first ever man in my life...My father! He was in all ways a perfect Ramnath... The lord of Ram...the man with bigger thoughts, inclusive growth for everyone possible, respectful, lovable and deep thinker, simple things mattered to him and his mother mattered beyond all the other things!

Had he been alive today, we would all be celebrating his 59th birthday...funny it is to see that we remember birthdays of those who have nothing to do with that date anymore, and yet wish them a long life, wherever they are...interestingly there is nothing in life that is not funny, just that the shades may differ!

So, when Shakespeare said 'What's in a name?'...Nirupama says ' A name can change the game'! May your names spell all things that make the world a beautiful place to be!

Love thy name! Happy Birthday Papa! :)

Niru

Did you notice Men?

As I was returning from my work today, I noticed two men clad in White Dhoti and their upper body covered with Angavastram were riding on a motorbike, the pillion was holding a small pot and that quite instantly gave me a clear idea of what was happening. They were probably sons or closest relatives of a person who had just passed away and were heading towards the funeral rites. Just immediately, it came to my mind that until yesterday these two men must have been busy with their usual life and work and suddenly in a few hours they were subjected to a jolt. Death shakes everybody, if not for long it makes every person ponder over it at least for a moment. Just imagine what these men must be feeling… a sudden rush of emotions, responsibility, planning all intertwined. They may feel like crying, but they rarely would, because they know that the funeral is to be completed within a certain timeframe.

Besides this there are several other aspects that complete a funeral ceremony. One such Hindu ritual is called ‘Mukhagni’ which means the fire has to be placed in the head of the dead body, so that the cremation can achieve its conclusion; during this ritual a sound of the skull cracking is heard amidst the hymns that are recited by priests, which confirms that the person on the pyre will never again resume life on that body. Now, imagine a son doing this for his father or a father doing this for his son or a brother for another or more! What must they be feeling like? How many churns did they feel in their gut while doing so? Did they throw up while doing so? Will their lives be the same after this ritual? Did they cry their heart-out after all this was over? And now, ask yourself …what do you think men are? Insensitive? Disrespectful? Not-understanding?

I have a brother who has gone through this piercing truth and emotion and it sure has changed something in him, if not everything! He serves the borders of our country in a matter that most of you won’t even know. He may have to gun down militants and miscreants who are threats to the civil society and the world at large, none for a personal cause or mission and yet when it comes to talking about sensitivity and acceptance and greater being, all world’s people have to side-line these very men, just under the name of few criminals who are like wild animals in the society! This is just a small glimpse of what men may go through in their lifetimes!

There is always a bigger side of the story and if not understood well, may lead to misconceptions! Men are human beings like women, sometimes more when it comes to taking charge of things, sometimes vulnerable just like women, sometimes patient like the gods we pray! Men are made of all the elements that women are made of and that makes the idea of respect very simple. Every man who displays respect deserves one!

Today as I write this, I make a sincere wish deep inside that every person who reads this will respect the men in their lives, they will give one chance to understand what a man has gone through, that they will listen instead of just questioning, that they will for some time let things be with those men instead of jumping to conclusions. Whether it’s a Father, Brother, Son, Boy-friend, Husband, Nephew, Friend, Admirer, Leader…a man sure is an equivalent to a woman and this is reason enough why we may not label all men as one!

Respect for Men!
Nirupama

और सखी पिया सो कर खोया,मैं अपना पिया जाग गवांयो....!

पलकां पर सोवत कामिनी रे,ज्ञान ध्यान सब पी संग लाग्यो..
पल मे लग गई पलकन मोरी,मीचत ही पल मे पिया आयो..!

मै जो उठी पिया आदर देने, जाग पड़ी पिया हाथ ना आयो..
और सखी पिया सो कर खोया,मैं अपना पिया जाग गवांयो....!

Meera Bai an eternal singer, an ardent lover of Krishna reveals the layers of her infinite love in the lines that are printed above in Devanagiri script!

This is a song that I have been listening to, as a morning raga since the last 15years of my life. The words spin a delicate thread. Meerabai describes how smitten she is in her wake moments for Krishna. And when she transports herself in the slightest trance she finds Krishna walk into her trance state too…unaware of her actual state, she ascends to greet the love of her life and then realizes unexpectedly that she has woken up and it was all a dream arrangement!

This song clicks a quick connection with love of every form…how much I love knowing MeeraBai…how beautiful she makes the whole idea of love!

The colour of passion is 'Burnt Sienna'

In faded memories of my teenage, I remember standing with him in the balcony of my house on summer evenings for long hours, chatting about almost everything under the sun. He was quite a few years younger to me considering the class he studied in. He then had a lot of questions to ask and I had almost equal number of suggestions to make...with my grandma like counselling skills since a very early age, I am sure I must have given him lot of enlightening knowledge, that's what he says even now.

Since his childhood he was an avid sketch artist and I was amazed at the finesse of his work each time I caught a glimpse of his artwork. As time passed, we grew busier with our lives, work timings and also moved to different places, but what remained were fond memories.

Several years later, when we got back in touch, I had left my corporate career and started pursuing things that kept me happy, whilst he was still looking out for some answers about ‘passion of his life’, I suppose . So, one day we decided to pick up the remains of our old story-telling days and experience sharing times to figure out the colour of his passion. With not much effort we figured out that he was passionate about painting!!!

A little later, he brainstormed his ideas with me and some of his closest pals and one fine morning he gives me a call to tell me that he will be starting painting classes for all ages, something that he believed gave him peace....I had rarely been as thrilled as that day, because somewhere a part of me was also involved in this entire process of passion finding and peace establishing.

Today, he is a full-fledged painter with some finest artistry in his heart (more than what he has in his hand and mind). He has dreamt of this for years and worked slowly towards it and that is why I want to name the colour of his passion as ‘Burnt Sienna’. Sienna is an earth pigment, it denotes the shades of earth and grounded nature and when it is heated, it becomes reddish brown and is called 'Burnt Sienna'. Something similar happens while we pursue our passion… we take the heat from all around and we stay grounded!

P.S: This boy is my little brother(now big and married), who I am so happy to be a sister to!

Colours.Passion.Peace

Nirupama

An acknowledgement is a way to peace

The first time that I formally got introduced to the word ‘acknowledgement’ was after having sent my application for the EAMCET exam, back in the year 2001; during that time I did not know what the intensity of the word meant, to me it was similar to a receipt that you get after making a monetary transaction. But over the years, ‘acknowledgement’, to my understanding became as important as any feeling that needs to be expressed in time.

In our daily lives there are plenty of things which need a pressing acknowledgement and this practice for me starts as each day begins. Today, I would like to share a list of my daily acknowledgements that I make to different things, different people and myself every day. I write this only to throw some light on the importance of our ‘response system’ and I am hoping that you like it. In case you do, then you can also take a cue from here and treat it like your cheat-sheet for something new to add to your personal schedule!

• Each morning as I wake up, I join my hands in acknowledgement to the incomparable Sun god for being where he is and reinstating the faith in the maxim that ‘somethings never change’ and life can be brightened each day.

• I acknowledge the ‘Good Mornings’ that I receive from my family and also from each parent and student who comes to school, individually. I quite well remember how terrible I’d feel as a child when I greeted ‘Good Morning’ to a random teacher at school and they would simply walk by without responding (there could be many reasons for such behaviour, but for me the feeling was bad). And therefore, I never want to be a similar case.

• For the morning tea, breakfast, lunch and dinner at home or outside, I make sure I acknowledge the effort put in making them to all those who cook and serve.

• At work I acknowledge my employee for the work she does by appreciating her time to time, though we don’t have a lot of common topics to talk.

• The e-mails and the messages that I receive both on social networking sites and phone are acknowledged by me in time, unless I am totally not in a position to access them.
(I see that life has become a little more complicated with technology and transparency coming together… so when I say this I mean situations… in which you get to know that an sms has been ‘delivered’ or an FB/Watsapp message has been ‘seen’ or ‘read’…it feels a lot of anxiety when there is no acknowledgement for it.)

• Sometimes a few strangers smile at you, for unknown reasons… a smile back to them is also an acknowledgement for the kindness they exhibit. (I sure know that a few of you may think that smiling at strangers can lead to unpleasant situations, to that I’d say…a lot of other planned gestures also may lead to similar stuff…why not take a chance with kindness then?) I smile at total strangers!

• Responding to an ‘I love you’… This is very crucial. A lot of times we think an ‘I love you’ is a fishy gesture… but with your personal experiences try to respond aptly to those who make an effort to say this to you and make you feel wonderful! I just love receiving and giving ‘I love yous’.

• Returning a missed call, replying to forward sms on a festival by a friend, thanking people for buying things from you(in case you’re a seller), thanking people for being around, saying a sorry in time are all candid examples of a civilized acknowledgement. I simply follow each of them and I feel a lot wonderful for having a strong response system inside of me.

I do not recall of a time or date in specific when I started responding to everything that needed to be acknowledged, but I can surely see how much of a difference it makes to anyone who has conveyed something, to receive a response.

To a lot of people it comes easier to scold, shunt or give a negative feedback about something. We however need to understand that a response, appreciation, suggestion, humble denial, agreement, gratitude and apology are far more superior forms of any acknowledgement that human civilization has ever seen!

So, happy acknowledging folks and yes I so love you!!!

Peace.Happiness

Nirupama